Post 500: What I've Learned about Blogging

Guess what? This is my 500th post. Some bloggers celebrate anniversaries. To me, that date hasn't really been important. What is important is the fact hat in some four years of blogging, I've managed to hit 'Publish' five hundred times.

In the course of those posts, this blog has dramatically shifted in tone. It started as a place where I passive-aggressively whined about how I thought I could make better content than other people on the internet and, ironically, images I stole from other sites. It was about quantity over quality and posting things I thought would get views. Over time, it became less about everyone else and more about me. It became more positive. It became less about writing and more about documenting.

My 500 posts have covered the entire spectrum. There are probably hundreds that you could delete and I would never notice, but there are so many that I am incredibly grateful for. They are the ones that probably mean nothing to anyone else but me, but I'm so glad I took the ten minutes, an hour, sometimes even a day or two, to create.

And there are posts I wish I would delete. There's only ever been one that I actually deleted, because it was too negative and too mean and it wouldn't have accomplished anything. It's been a lesson in 'If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all'. It's been a way of analyzing afterward the type of energy I put out.

Alright, enough with the sappy stuff. Let's get on to all the stuff I've learned about having a blog through 500 posts.

1. Every post should have a picture. Like this one:

It's not great, but it took me 15 minutes and each time I make one of these, I'm getting better at it. 

It's important to include an image for three reasons. One, the all-mighty Pinterest. Two, many blog readers/feeds have a thumb-nail of the first image from the post and it can weirdly be a make-it-or-break-it image. Three, that little 'Recommended Posts' feature at the bottom of posts works much better with images.

Basically, it can be summed up as images draw people to click.

2. Find out what makes you unique.

When I first started, I just copied and regurgitated all the same crap I was already reading on other people's blogs. It was a comfortable starting point, I suppose, but I wasn't contributing anything meaningful to this space. It wasn't until I started blogging about the random things that make me me that I really started to connect with people.

My most popular posts to date are about two subjects: Stitch Fix reviews and my Mara Jade costume. They have one hundred times more hits than any other of my post. Both are popular for one reason: a unique point of view. If you google 'Stitch Fix review', thousands of posts come up. Most bloggers write raving reviews, get referral credit, and start all over. However, I didn't have such great experiences. I'm one of the few blogs that pops up if you google 'Stitch Fix review negative'. I wasn't intentionally being negative as click-bait, I was just being honest to my experience. And it connected with some people who either had similar experiences or wanted the full picture before trying it themselves.

On a different note, my Mara Jade posts make me incredibly happy. Before I made my Mara Jade costume, if you searched the web for costume ideas, only one post came up. Now, two do. And it may not seem like a lot, but I've had at least a half dozen people email me for the 3D prints of the harness buckle so they could make it for their own costumes. That's amazing! There could be other people out there wearing something I designed, thinking, 'How cool am I in this costume.'

3. Stretch yourself.

As weird as this sounds, I like to treat my blog like an odd, little course. I'm the teacher and the student and I try to give myself a structure and assignments to help myself grow. If you're going to put so much time and energy into something, you might as well try to get something out of it in the process.

My blog initially had a very negative tone. I had a lot of emotions and opinions I needed to express them and a blog was a healthier outlet than my new husband. In order to reign it in and force myself to be more optimistic, I started writing 'Fan of Friday' posts to focus myself on the positives of my week. Surely, I could find one thing a week that made me happy. When you frame it like that, it became really easy. Although I don't post 'Fan of Fridays' as often as I used to, I still make notes and drafts of posts about things that make me happy when I find them.

I also have plenty of experience on the other end of it when I've pushed myself too far. Every year, I try Blogmas, where I post every weekday to get me in the holiday mood, trying to force my blog into making me more 'festive'. However, I have yet to successfully complete Blogmas and post every day. It just burns me out by the end of it. I may try again this year, but it is slowly making me see that it may not have the affect I was hoping it would have.
 
On a related note...

4. Understand the line between 'Consistency' and 'Obligation'.

One of the most common tips I come across in 'how to grow an audience' for your blogger in the advice to post consistently.  I guess that's probably important if you're trying to turn your blog and yourself into a brand, but I've always struggled with it. Sometimes, my life has had so much going on that I've been able to post every day or three times a week and schedule posts long into the future. Other times, I got absolutely nothing. At first, early in my blog, when I had nothing, I should have just acknowledged the nothingness and not posted. Instead, I 'filled'. Hence, why I have so many purely deletable posts in the archives. Now, four years later, I understand that writing pointless posts was, in fact, pointless. Maybe if this were my business, having a schedule and handling the obligation to post on regular intervals would be important, but I would much rather write only when there is something to write about.

5. Lastly, don't feel the need to have a point of view.

Most articles I've read about blogging talk about the necessity of having a focus. There are beauty bloggers, fashion bloggers, food bloggers, travel bloggers, etc. It's OK to not have a point. To write just to write. To write about everything. To write about nothing. Over time, maybe your blog will turn into something. Maybe it won't. But if you're only blogging for followers, what are you trying to prove?

For me, this has never been a 'business opportunity'. I never wanted or expected to have thousands of followers and be able to make a reasonable wage off selling ads. There's always the dream it will go viral and it could become that, but I don't act like that's the case anymore. This blog has become a place where I try to express myself. It's a place where I hold myself accountable. It's a safe place to explore who I am, who I was, and who I want to become.

I've never been able to keep a journal this long before, but I hope I manage to keep this one going long into the future. So here's to many more posts to come. Thanks for being a part of it.

Fan of Friday: Week of 11/7/2014

I don't remember how I stumbled across 'The Lovely Side' blog, but it was a few years ago, back when the blogger, Jessica, was still in college and it was titled, 'Lovely Undergrad'.

Image Source

It's right up my alley. She writes about two main things: home decor and clothes. When you put it like that, it doesn't do her pieces justice.

Her posts on decor focus on breaking down rooms and determining why they work and how to improve them. It's mood boards and layouts and advice to others on their spaces.

It follows a similar pattern with her posts on outfits. While focusing mainly on office and work clothing, she breaks down building outfits in a very similar fashion to that of home spaces.

Also, I'm fairly partial to her blog because she's featured my ideas twice on it now. First, I submitted my wardrobe as a Mechanical Engineer and why they work. Second, she turned my comment about packing a suitcase of essentials when you're moving and rolled that idea into a whole post.

You can really tell when you read her posts how much time and effort she puts into dissecting and breaking things down. It's quite refreshing.

Changes...

Over the last couple of months, blogging really hasn't been a priority for me. I've been telling myself that I have been neglecting this space because my life has gotten busy, but that's really not true. Yes, I have been busy, but definitely not so much that I can't take 20 minutes and an Instagram picture and form some sort of post.

Let's be real, this blog not exactly about quality for me. It's about just getting it out. Whether it's a journal entry as to what I've been doing or a crazy opinion rattling around in my brain or even a cat picture, I need to express myself.

I'm going to stop waiting to make progress on house projects and post about them as they lay because honestly, I think most people hate those people who can do a whole living room redo in just one weekend. Most of us (especially Sam and Rusty) can't even manage to put together a piece of Ikea furniture in that amount of time.

Anyway, I'll be here more. Hopefully I'll push my comfort zone a bit, even if it's just to have something to write about. I'm bringing back 'Fan of Fridays' and admitting to some loves that are incredibly ridiculous and uncool. I'm going to try some different styles of posts. Knock on wood, I'm even going to try making some videos. If anything, it'll be something to see, like a train wreck perhaps.

And I am totally open to suggestions. If you have anything you'd like to see more, let me know below. I can only run on my own ideas for so long.

I Will Outsmart You, AdSense!

Out of boredom last night, I played around with the idea of creating an AdSense account for this blog. I wouldn't place some huge, obnoxious ads all over everything, but it would be nice to slowly generate a ridiculously small amount of money if anyone accidentally clicked on them.

Anyway, even though I did a presentation in one of graduate school classes on AdSense, it completely baffles me. It won't tell me how much it pays or what the conditions are. It's like, "Sign up and then we'll tell you." Really? You can't have a nice little table that says 2 cents for every click on a sidebar ad and 3 cents for every post ad?

Does anyone have a clue and can help me? Is it worth it for me? What amount of traffic do you need for it to be worth it? Maybe I'm putting the cart before the horse and should hold off until, I don't know, I have at least a dozen followers or some other arbitrary gauge.

I'm Sick of the Internet

There. I said it. It's probably blasphemous to say that on a blog, but it's really starting to get under my skin. It seems like a rapidly increasing percentage of the websites and blogs I frequent have become too self-centered. Too self-aware.

For example, one website I visit has just become a big clique. Bow down to the girls in charge or you will get torn apart. Post after post from these writers in New York City has narrowed from being about feminism, beauty, entertainment, and relationships to tales of their dating history, the Occupy Wallstreet protesters, obscure runway fashion, and the bad decisions they are currently making (but of course, they don't realize that they are bad decisions.) They don't seem to realize that most the people reading their website are not writers. We work real jobs where leggings are not a good decision and coming in hungover doesn't make you look cool. I used to read their articles because they were filled with good advice and galleries. Now, they've revealed so much about
themselves and their decisions, no one in their right mind
should ever listen to them.

Another part of the problem is also that there is no polite way to debate or critique on the internet. All syntax and emotion is lost so it's always perceived in the most negative light. If you post a picture on your blog of what you're wearing that day and someone comments "You might want to reconsider that dress. It makes you look pregnant.", why can't you see that they are NOT saying you look pregnant? They are saying the dress probably isn't the best choice for you. Period. No comment war necessary.

A lot of websites have removed their "dislike" feature and I think that bugs me more than anything. If I don't agree with someone, I should be able to hit the little thumbs down button and move on. Without it, at least on the cliquey websites, if you refute someone's comment, the rest of the brainwashed zombies attacks and no one comes to the rescue. I don't comment on those websites anymore. Just not worth it. I'm all for positivity and politeness online but if you write a crappy article, I should have the right to tell you I think it sucks (you know, in a polite and specific way, not just "You suck!").

One of my favorite blogs recently took down it's thumbs down and starting banning people who were deemed "mean". No definition of "mean" was ever given. Most of the people who were banned were not the mean ones; they were just the ones who disagreed with the blogger and were not her personal friends. That's fine. I won't comment anymore out of fear of being banned (my comments were never mean, by the way, but if I don't agree, I'll say so), but scaring people away isn't the greatest way to generate hits.

Maybe the problem I'm having is that I just need to find new websites. It's hard to cut one out without having another to replace it. So if anyone knows of some good ones, please let me know. If this rant proves anything, it's that I'm kind of desperate.

10 Rules for Not Being an Asshole on the Internet

Yesterday, on a website I frequent, I left a comment on a highly debated article. The comment was about my husband and had some basis of truth, but I mainly posted it for a laugh. A couple minutes later, I refreshed to see if anyone had appreciated it and sure enough, there was a reply. And damn, did it piss me off!

Now, this website is actually fairly civilized when it comes to commenting, not like a lot of websites that just turn into political bashing or trolling, but the responder was apparently on some sort of high horse today and felt like making all the commentors on this post feel like crap. He basically said that if I didn't like my husband's behavior, it's always an option to leave him. I responded in a short comment, calling out his behavior, and he actually apologized (which is definitely an internet rarity) and deleted his original comment. Afterward, though, some other jackass came to his defense and said that if I didn't like his reply, I should just stop commenting and deal with it.

Well jackass, here you go. Here's a list of "10 Rules for Not Being an Asshole on the Internet" to prove that yes, in fact, you are an asshole.

1. Don't troll in a public forum
If you want to say snide, sarcastic, or hurtful things as a comment on someone's Facebook wall, have at it, but I only let that slide because if it's not appreciated, it can be easily deleted. As a response to an article, it may not count as offense and get flagged if you blame the entire economy on Obama, but if you post it on an article about where to find discount school supplies, you are an asshole.

2. Don't "Like" everything on Facebook
This makes you more of an unintentional asshole, but you don't need to like every picture in someone's album. "Like" two or three pictures max and if you really like the album, say that ONLY ONCE in a comment. Take this especially to heart if you are significantly older than the person you are commenting on because it will most likely kill the string behind you since no one wants to post something funny or sarcastic after the nice aunt who commented on every single picture.

3. Don't jack someone's status
Don't switch the topic of discussion. If someone is complaining that they had a hard day, it's an asshole move to say that you had a harder day because you took care of two kids all day. If you want to complain about that, post it on your own wall. Personally, I have no problem deleting someone's comment on facebook if they try to jack my status. Consider that a threat!

4. Don't confuse the internet with real life
I know I only have seven followers and the person who follows my blog the closest is my own mom. This is why I do not have a facebook fan page devoted to my blog. This is why when I comment on someone else's blog, I don't follow it up with a link to a similar post on my own blog. Just because you have twitter and post crappy poetry on your blog, it doesn't mean you're a good blogger and it doesn't mean that anyone else wants to hear about it.

5. Don't confuse someone else's life with your own
This is equivalent to what sports fans do, saying things like, "Our line up sucked this year." If your kid has a big swim meet, let them post about it.

6. Don't automatically post things to your wall
No, I don't care about your horoscope for the day or what you need for Farmville. No one cares and we won't tell you, but we'll secretly hide everything you post.

7. Don't be offended if people don't like your opinion
I know this one sounds counter intuitive given the introduction I gave, but let me clarify. There's a difference because getting upset that someone suggested I leave my husband and someone giving me a "thumbs down" and then demanding an explanation as to why someone disagreed. If someone disagrees with your comment, they should be allowed to click the little icon and move on. You are not entitled to an explanation.

8. Don't correct spelling with a second comment
I don't care if it was your own original comment or someone else's, unless the typo changes the meaning, the extra scrolling needed to skip your correction will just make me a little more stabby.

9. Don't post passive-aggressive drama
Everytime one of my teenage cousins posts something like, "Well, I guess I know who my true friends are," I just want to reply, "You actually have friends?" No one is trying to decode what you're rambling about except other people who ramble as well.

10. Don't be an asshole
Maybe this one should go without saying, but just because the internet is anonymous doesn't mean people don't think you're an asshole. They may not know you, but you are an asshole. Calling someone ugly, fat, or stupid because you disagree with their opinion doesn't say anything about them, only you. Karma is, in fact, online and she will still come for your ass.

Did I miss any?

Oh, and here’s a link to the comment that started it all (look for “justpeachy” down in the comments).

Deciding a Direction

It's been a while since my last post. Not just because every waking moment seems to be spent wrapping something in newspaper and putting it in a cardboard box in preparation for the big move this weekend. It's mainly due to the fact that I don't know what to post.

I've got writer's block. No, it's worse than that. I've got blogger's block.

Since beginning this blog a couple of months ago, this has been my outlet for saying all the things I normally don't say out loud. I ramble on about the things bugging me, create how-to lists, make celebrity observations, and, in general, just write about whatever is in my head at the moment. I haven't given much thought to what I put out there. It's just been my outlet to get it out.

Well, after two months, apparently I've gotten the majority of the babbling out of my system. But now, I'm addicted to blogging. I love the feeling when inspiration hits me and I can actually articulate it.

So now, now that cleared out most of the rambles and the babbles, I'd like to establish some sort of direction. Some sort of theme. And for this, I looked to some of my favorite blogs for inspiration. After analyzing my favorites, they seem to fall into two categories: ones based on personal stories and ones with a specific focus.

• This Fish: I love reading about Heather's adventures. She has the ability to make the most inane tasks incredibly riveting. My life isn't that interesting and I lack the skills to convince you that it is.
  
• Already Pretty: Sally can make anyone feel like they can dress well. She gives fashion such a positive, healthy spin. I wish I could write half as well about anything as she can about styling and self-image.
  

So, as I see it, I have two options. I can either get a much more interesting life or I can develop an expertise in something. Actually, both would be kind of awesome.

With all the things going on in the next couple of weeks with the house, hopefully things will be more interesting. Also, I will try to focus more on the topics that I've gotten the most positive feedback on: celebrity tidbits and relationship pieces. It's going to be a weird combination.

In a couple of weeks, let's just hope some sort of definition or direction has emerged. Any comments as to how it should develop would be greatly appreciated...

A Brief Introduction

So I guess I need to answer the big question: why did I start a blog? Plain and simple. I really like reading blogs. I do. I could probably waste hours upon hours reading other people's blogs (I'll post links to the ones that I'm addicted to eventually). However, that being said, I don't think I've really stumbled across a blog that really represents me. Most bloggers are freelance writers living in tiny apartments killing time between the occasional magazine piece, hoping for their big break. That or the blog has a very specific purpose, like fashion, although interesting, don't really translate to my lifestyle.

About my lifestyle, you'd think with the amount of blogs that don't relate to me, I'd be some sort of freak of nature. I'm not. Ok, a little bit. I'm a 24 year old, married, female mechanical engineer living in Tucson. I don't have a Cosmopolitan life, going out every night with scarlet lips to tempt a piece of man candy back to my lair. I don't wear designer clothes because I spend my days repairing dirty, broken robots (That's right. I work with robots. And it is as awesome as it sounds). I don't spend my weekends hunting estate sales for antique furniture to paint and cover in Astroturf to decorate my lavish home. I'm a regular girl who works with robots and men at least 10 years older than me every day. I have a husband who loves to get himself into trouble. I've got a handful of friends and I care about them deeply.

I love to give advice and tips. I don't claim to be an authority on anything. Period. Anything I write here will be purely my opinion. It may be based on personal experience (which I will probably fiercely defend) or may be based on some random internet article I read four years ago (which I will probably still fiercely defend). My posts will be whatever is on my mind in that instance. Some opinions I have had bottled up for years and it's probably best for my health to get them off my chest. Some posts will be the imaginary counseling I've had with myself while wandering the halls at work, trying to get inspired to get back to work.

The only downside to my life is that I keep so much bottled up inside. I have all these opinions to share and advice to give and no one to listen to it. So I've chosen this as my outlet. We'll see how long it lasts, but hopefully a while. I guess this probably brings me to the most important question: why should I read this blog? Well, frankly, there isn't a good reason. Maybe you'll get something from it, or maybe you won't. Maybe you'll contribute something to it, or maybe you'll just enjoy the things others contribute. Maybe no one but my mom will contribute anything. That's not the point though. The point is that I need to contribute something. I need to do something and hope that someday someone other than myself will enjoy what I think.

Carolyn