So, how's married life?

I hate that question. Absolutley HATE that question. Being married a mere four months, there are two types of people who ask me this: the ones who aren't married and the ones who are. The unmarried ones just want to hear that everything is rainbows and gumdrops and fluffy kittens. The married ones expected to hear something along the lines of "It was a difficult adjustment but things are good".

Well, guess what? It's not rainbows and gumdrops and fluffy kittens. Most of the time, I think it sucks. It sucks. But does anyone want to hear that? Nope. Once, I started my reply with "Eh..." and the look of horror on that poor person's face.

Why does everybody expect newlyweds to be in complete bliss all the time? I get that there is a honeymoon period where everything is seen through rose-colored glasses, but seriously, think about all the compromise and adjustment that comes with getting married.

I'm a very independent person. If I could only see my husband three or four nights of the week, I'd probably be OK with it. So going from seeing my husband for only intervals of time to seeing him constantly has been a huge shift, one honestly I haven't fully made yet. I miss being to just take my pants off, turn the radio on, and just dance around my apartment.

And adding to the fun has been sharing a bed. I am arguably one of the world's lightest sleepers. My husband shakes himself to sleep. When he's just falling asleep, his foot will twitch until he's out. As annoying as that is, sometimes in the night, like sleepwalking, I'll find him on his hands and knees, rocking back and forth. Do you have any idea how scary it is to wake up to a full grown man convulsing next to you?

And the "honeymoon weight". I do all the grocery shopping because I have to. If I didn't, our kitchen would be filled with nothing but ice cream, potato chips, baked goods, and cheese. Somehow, even though I do the shopping, he still manages to get the stuff in the house. I can't say no to the stuff. I've tried every method of self-restraint but I just don't got it. I've had to resort to upping my work outs in order to battle the bulge that I am slowly losing.

All this is increasingly affecting our sex life. How well do you think it goes over when my husband makes a pass at me? "Not tonight, honey. I just spent the last hour running and only got four hours of sleep last night. If you like your testicles where they are, you might want to back up out of swinging range."

My life has completely changed over the past six months. I've gone from being an engaged graduate student living by myself in my lovely hole-in-the-wall apartment to a married full-time engineer in my husband's rental house. How has my husband's life changed? He now has someone who lives with him that does all the shopping and cooking.

I've become this constant ball of stress. I feel like I'm carrying the entirety of this marriage on my back. We have the same fight almost every two weeks about how I wish he would contribute more, but nothing changes. Or maybe things change for like a day, but still.

I love being married to my husband. Just sometimes I don't love being married. Imagine if I told people that when they ask.

[Update: You can read how much better things have gotten here.]