BUY ALL THE THINGS!

I'm not usually a Black Friday shopper. We have our annual tradition of going to Target on Thanksgiving night, a couple of hours after it has opened. I get a sweater at a discount and the latest season of 'Supernatural', but that's the extent of it.

Not this year.

This year quickly started to spiral and we chose to lean in to it.

Our tradition diverged when we decided to meet up with one of my sister's friends who was getting to Target right when it opened in hopes of grabbing a great deal on a 50" Samsung doorbuster TV. Through poor timing by the rest of the group, I was the only one available to be her 'buddy' right when the doors open and we braved the initial chaos together.

However, by the time we made it to TVs, the one she wanted was long gone. My sister had caught up with us by then and told us the secret that would change how I view Black Friday forever: a lot of people end up putting the doorbusters back. Turns out, in the overwhelming energy of the stampede, people grab what they don't need. Later, they slink it back or just leave it in some random aisle.

Sure enough, less than five minutes later, I saw a man putting one back and I talked him into handing it over to me before anyone knew what was happening.

At this time, Dan finally caught up and decided that the doorbusters were such a great deal, he should pull the trigger on a cheap, giant TV for his shop. Feeling generous, I caved.

From there, we leaned in and started seriously shopping. I can't remember the last time I bought so many things. I am a cheap person by nature, so to go on a bit of a spree is not in my character. Most of it was things I've wanted for quite a while and just finally pulled the trigger. Even now, I still feel some guilt about it all. I'm sure I'll feel more when I pay off my credit card.

Just for fun, here's the full list of all the pointless things I bought {Sidenote: I'm not trying to brag or show-off. This is just a list of the random things we, Dan and I, bought over the long weekend. The big stuff were things we'd wanted to get for a while and the sales online made it a good time to finally do it.}

• Target:
• Thursday - 
• 55 inch cheap TV
• Holiday sweater
• Tank top
• Nyx lip kit
• Hickory Farms cheese
• Season 11 of 'Supernatural'
• Sunday -
• Christmas Gifts for a one-year-old in foster care (clothes, pjs, toys, etc.)
• Ipod Nano (the volume down button stopped working on my old one on my Thanksgiving morning run)
• World Market
• Saturday - 
• Quality Street Chocolate Tin
• 2 chocolate Advent calendars
• Cookie jar, car with a tree on top
• Malteses
• Ulta
• Saturday - 
• Ulta 12 days Advent calendar
• Ulta eye shadow pallette
• Too Faced blush
• Lip Stick Queen lipstick in 'Medieval'
• Online
• Refurbished Canon camera
• Second light for blue bathroom renovation
• Blouse for my sister (Christmas gift), and one for myself
• Oil for my car

And I'm sure there's more on this list that Dan hasn't told me about yet...

Today, I Am Sad

...and scared and just plain angry. I don't want to use this blog to discuss politics, but I do choose to use it to discuss my feelings.

Last night, as hope slipped away as the results rolled in, the only way I could cope was to go to bed early and wish that things would be better in the morning. They weren't, but the ache in my heart had started to numb. And as today has progressed, the numbness is slowly spreading through my body.

I had hoped that I would be able to walk into my morning meetings with my head held high. In my meetings where I am repeatedly the only woman sitting at the table, I would feel like less of an outsider because we finally had a female president. I didn't realize how much that dream meant to me until it was taken away.

And today, my heart goes out to every other person who is worried about their tomorrows.

To all women who have been given evidence yet again that sexism is alive and well in America.

To victims of sexual harassment and assault who have been shown that doing those things to other people will not end your career or even really hurt your image.

To members of the LGBTQ+ community who now have a Vice President who approves of conversion therapy.

To Muslims and their families, here and abroad, who have to now worry if a 'ban' could actually happen.

To refuges looking for safety here that now need to look somewhere else.

To Hispanics and Mexicans who have been treated like criminals and second-class citizens.

To anyone on Obamacare who now needs to worry about finding another health care source in case their's is repealed.

To anyone who benefited from Obama's policies, whatever they may be.

To all the future citizens hurt by whatever Supreme Court Justice Trump will appoint and the decisions he makes.

Today, I am sad. I grieve for all of these people, America, and myself. And tomorrow, I hope I can move forward. I hope this proof of how some people chose to wield their power is not wasted. I hope we can somehow use this huge crevasse to address some real issues.

And mostly, I hope that our government is so huge and cumbersome that nothing actually does change.