10 Essentials of a Lady Lair

Why it that men get man caves? Is there some twisted assumption that the women get the rest of the house? Yes, men get their own rooms with big screen TVs and pool tables while women get what...the kitchen?

Why is there no female equivalent? A space for ladies to kick back, relax, and have fun. I've only ever seen one female man cave on TV, in contrast to the dozens of the traditional variety. On 'The Cosby Show', there was an episode solely devoted to Claire getting her own 'room' (when reruns still aired before the Bill Cosby controversy). A room all to herself with a lock on the door for her own privacy. The whole episode focused on her family trying to get into the room and why would she want a room all to herself. Here's the word-for-word synopsis from IMDB:

Cliff builds a room just for Clair, her own special place for work and retreat. Everyone, except Cliff, is upset that she wants to be alone and not spend time with them. Cliff tries to explain the purpose of a special room.

At the end of the episode, the room was never mentioned again. Poof. The only instance of a female man cave was gone. I swear entire seasons of 'King of Queens' that have taken place in Doug's man cave, which no one ever questions the necessity of. Yet, the only instance of a female man cave and it only focuses on the why.

To be fair, there have been other shows that have given a woman her own space, but they all seem to be bathrooms or walk-in closets. How superficial is that? I want a space devoted to fun and unwinding, like a man cave. Sure, a spa bathroom could be fun, but I want more than that. I want a space I've deemed the 'lady lair'.

My ideal lady lair would be quite the room. It is a space where I can unwind with my girl friends. A calm, chill space where we can catch up, be ourselves, and be silly. At the same time, a place where I could crank up some terrible 80's music and dance with my cats. It doesn't have to be a space that screams "FEMININE!", but form and function can be equal. It would be Indiana Jones' library meets Emily Henderson meets 'The Mindy Project': vintage and suave, feminine and style, colorful and fun. I know that doesn't make much sense, but let me walk you through it.

1. A cozy place to relax and converse. I don't think I'd be able to keep a sofa like this one nice since I'm such a heathen, but it's just so gorgeous. This one from Joybird is a magical mix of vintage and cozy. Like something a 1940's movie star would lounge on with her romance novels after a long day of shooting elegant entrance scenes walking down giant staircases. Or, in a more practical universe, something I could sink into with my friend Bekah and gossip about how she ended up on yet another accidental date. It's a sofa that beckons me after a long, stressful day.
2. Classy shelving for books and beautiful little knick-knacks. Since my ideal relaxation space is a library, bookshelves are a must-have. This unit is way fancier than anything I would need with built-in lighting and hidden drawers, but it sure is beautiful. A nice frame to highlight the loveliness of anything special you put on it. 
3. Uplifting and inspirational art. Sometimes you just need word art to remind you that you can both be a thug and like flowers. #truth
4. A home for refreshments. I'm not a drinker, but that doesn't mean I don't appreciate a bar cart, just maybe it isn't a bar anymore. It could house a crystal ice-bucket and glass-bottled sodas. Maybe a big, old-timey jar filled with goldfish crackers or jellybeans? You know, grown-up food.
5. Better lighting than over-head recessed sconces. It has been long established that I am a fan of lamps, but this one is somethin'. Oh lordy, this one. How sexy is that base? It's like a starlet at the Academy Awards; it's like a designer gown. I may now be coveting it until it goes on sale, assuming I can find another corner of the house that needs a lamp.
6. A place to perch and nibble. Sometimes when you catch up with someone, you want to be lazy and slouch on the sofa. Other times, when the conversation is fancy, you need to perch with your drinks by the bar on an elegant stool.
7. A plush rug to keep feet from getting cold. It's like art on your floor. Nice art that your friends can sit on when you've filled up the sofa. Or where you can bellyflop on tougher days. A rug like this goes a long way in making a room more cozy and snugly, especially one with a subtle floral pattern.
8. A surface for magazines, cats, and plates of cupcakes. A great coffee table doesn't have to be a star. It's like Judy Greer: an amazing, beautiful actress who's never really the star of the show, but man, does she make everything better. I think that's my new favorite analogy: this coffee table from Target is the Judy Greer of my lady lair. It's pretty and classic with some flair in the mid-century modern legs and drawers. Like something Cheryl on 'Archer' would have (I've got to get off this Judy Greer train...)
9. Something that smells better than I do. Candles are the definition of relaxing. You have to love this pretty little one from Target that not only smells deliciously fresh, but demands to you only be positive in your sacred space.
10. A cool way to play some tunes. Keeping with the subtle floral theme, how amazing is this phonograph? It's hard to imagine anything it plays sounding bad, no matter how terrible my choice in music.

All the essentials of my lady lair are like the lady lair itself: functional and luxurious. It's a space of curated pieces that speak deep to my soul. And honestly, asking for a lady lair isn't anymore ridiculous than a man asking for a man cave. Somehow, that's become a thing. It's about time we make the lady lair a thing, too.