Friday, December 5, 2014

Blogmas 2014: Giftz for Catz

Hello humanz. It is I, Rustholomew. Samsicle has conveniently distracted the red-furred human so that I can tell you something very important: what to get your feline masterz for Christmas.

We have been very good all year and deserve the best. We let you rub our belliez without biting you too hard. We make sure there are no small objectz cluttering up your surfacez. We keep your magazinez well perforated. You owe us.

Christmas Gifts For Cats

1) A patch of grass. If your masterz are indoor only catz like we are, they would greatly appreciate a touch of the outdoorz safely inside. We promise we'll let it live at least a week. Don't judge us if we roll in it.
2) A laser pointer automatic toy. It's no secret: our momma is lazy. She meanz well, but she getz bored quickly. Much too quickly. This toy will move that evil red dot around for hourz and let our bum of a momma off the hook.
3) A cat castle. This is not a cat condo. It's a full-on palace. With pillarz to scratch and cavez to hide in and platformz to lounge on. Just make sure to assemble it in a lovely, sunny corner.
4) A window screen seat. All the joys of being outside without all that annoying dirt. Perfect for those spring dayz when the birdz are being too chippy and the air is warm and fragrant.
5) Good, human food. It's a holiday. We deserve some good food, not that crunchy crap the female human getz in a big bag from Target. I prefer meatz and crunchy, salty crackerz and Samuel wantz sweet, creamy dessertz.

And then there are all the free, easy giftz of the day, like boxez and scrapz of wrapping paper. And bowz! How we love bowz!

Just so you don't think we're bratz and shouldn't be receiving all these glorious presentz, here's purr-roof that we are adorable. Someday, Sam will hopefully learn how to be as photogenic as I am.

That is all. You may now return to your normal perusing of I Can Has Cheezburger. Good day.

No comments:

Post a Comment