Wednesday, August 17, 2011

32 Incredible Truths

I stumbled across these the other day on Pinterest. Tell me you don't believe in all of them.
  1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
  2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong (A close second being the look on the other person's face when they know they have you beat.)
  3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger. (Sorry Mom.)
  4. There is a great need for a sarcasm font.
  5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet? (I found this link, but I don't buy it.)
  6. Was learning cursive really necessary? (This is probably the one I disagree with most. Cursive is AWESOME! It makes whatever I'm writing seem pretty and girly.)
  7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
  8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
  9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
  10. Bad decisions make good stories.
  11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day. (This feeling hits me at 10AM more often than I would like to admit.)
  12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again. (I'm still trying my damnest to ignore Blue Ray...)
  13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I didn't make any changes.
  14. "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this - ever. 
  15. I hate when I just miss a call by the last right, but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voice mail. What did you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?
  16. I hate leaving the house looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
  17. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
  18. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
  19. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.
  20. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.
  21. Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it. (When I bought all the DVDs of "Friends", so many of the jokes finally made sense.)
  22. I would rather try to carry 10 over-loaded plastic bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring in the groceries.
  23. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text. (Or finish my lipstick.)
  24. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
  25. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they siad?
  26. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters! (This is my favorite. thing. ever!)
  27. Shirts get dirty. Underwear get dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty and you can wear them forever. (But if you ate Cheetos, do an orange handprint check.)
  28. Is it just me or do high school kids get dumber and dumber every year?
  29. There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.
  30. As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers.
  31. Sometimes I'll look at my watch three consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
  32. Even under ideal conditions, people have trouble locating their cell phone, but I'd bet my ass everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.

1 comment:

  1. You're so awesome Carolyn. I love all of these!