Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Blogmas 2013: Stockings for Men

Men like to think they are easy to shop for, but that's a big, fat lie. They are soooo difficult. If your man-friend is anything like Dan, whenever he needs something, he just buys it. And whenever he wants something, he makes up a reason why he has to have it, and buys that, too.

You know what's annoying? Every other stocking stuffer guide I found suggested things like cufflinks. Cufflinks are not the male equivalent of earrings, people. Here's what they really want, or at least will use for a couple of days before they lose/break the majority of it:

  1. Gum. Everybody loves gum, except Dan, that weirdo. But everyone normal does.
  2. Pocket Knife. If your man doesn't have one, he won't know how he lived without one once he does. 
  3. Candy. Stuff every free bit of space with candy. The ultimate filler. Any pocket of air is just a sign you don't truly love him. 
  4. Joke Book. Because dad jokes are the best and the perfect ice breaker. 
  5. Mini Nerf Gun. To terrorize wives and cats. Don't worry, odds are all the little foam bullets will be lost by New Year's. 
  6. Lip Balm. Men don't buy themselves the good stuff, but they are so grateful to have it. Just make sure it's not girly and he may actually use it. 
  7. Beanie. You can never have too many warm, little hats. 
  8. Model Car Kit. Especially meaningful if you can find one of his favorite car. And it'll give him something to work on in the downtime on Christmas. 
  9. Wallet. Men's wallets tend to take a beating and show their age quickly. His probably needs a refresher.
  10. Magnetic Wristband. This thing just looks like it's the coolest thing ever. I'm so sad it's sold out. Definitely getting one for Dan next year, probably one for me, too. It's magnetic so you don't drop screws and nuts when you're working on something. It's just so smart!
Granted, all of this won't come close to fitting in a normal stocking, so pick two or three and round it out with a crap ton of #3. 

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